*Continuance of “My Story” starting with Blog #1: When your life flashes before your eyes in a flood gate of memories…
Another month went by and none of my symptoms were improving. In fact, they’d gotten worse with the intensity, so I decided to quit taking most of the supplements I’d started weeks prior. Then I’d try some again after some time passed.
During the course of this time I was still working full time. I was(am) self-employed as a Massage Therapist with a full clientele. I worked 4 days per week, filling nearly 40 hours with office work and therapy sessions. Massage therapy sessions could be 1/2 hour up to 2hour lengths. Since I was having diarrhea 5-15 times per day, the 2 hour massages were tricky. Thankfully, I ALWAYS made it through the session, thanks be to Papa God.
Mom was the receptionist at my business during this time, also. She was(and STILL is) a HUGE help to me. She’d warmed up meals in the oven for us, made sure I was eating and drinking enough food and water, kept laundry going, helped with various business aspects, checked clients in and out, and all those numerous receptionist duties.
I didn’t feel that I had the energy to do my job, but I didn’t dwell on that. I focused on taking one client at a time. Most days I didn’t know if I would make it through the morning, let alone the end of the work day. I was pretty much exhausted before I started working each day, so focusing on each client was key. Knowing that I was helping someone else get relief from their pain, honestly, kept me going. The work wasn’t about the money. I loved my job of helping people become free of bodily pain.
To this day, I continue to love the work I do. Helping people that come to my office in physical pain is really rewarding. I get to work with my clients as they work through their pain, aiding in their pain relief plans. Seeing the frowns when arriving turn to smiles when leaving is so rewarding and awesome to witness. People smile more freely, without hesitation when they feel good.
At the end of my work day, I would drive 20 minutes home. I’d be utterly exhausted. Once home and showered, I’d curl up in bed in the fetal position, laying on my left side often unable to sleep. Mom would always say to me, while hugging me goodnight, “I love you, Kelly. Hang in here. You’re doing awesome!”
I continued to struggle as that month slowly passed. Finally, the FMD called for our phone consult, digging in right away with, “How are you feeling Kelly? Have your symptoms gotten any worse or better? Give me an update.”
I told him, “I quit taking a couple of the supplements because they’re not working. The supplements make all of my symptoms worse. I’ve stopped and started taking them a couple times, but each time I felt worse when taking them.” I felt like I was re-living the last consult that I’d had with him, telling him the same thing.
“Which supplements are doing that?” He probed. I told him which ones, and he went on. “I want you to start taking those supplements again, but in smaller dosages. Try taking a quarter of the full dose of ______ for a few days. Also, introduce one supplement at a time to make sure they’re each doing its job.”
I was very skeptical. However, I agreed. He wanted to schedule another phone consult in a month, after the holidays were over. I agreed, hesitantly, and he scheduled the appointment. Then the phone consultation ended.
(Pictured above, is our logo at Helping Hands Therapeutic Massage & Body Work)
Mid December, 2014. The holiday seasons were always busy at work. Mom was busy scheduling clients, selling Gift Certificates, and doing her normal receptionist duties, warming up a meal or snack for me too. Even though often times I didn’t want to eat, she would smile and hand me a small portion to eat. I would smile back, thanking her. Mom kept a CLOSE eye on me while I worked throughout the busy days. Truth be told, she was there not only to help me in my business, but because I really did need someone keeping an eye on me. She had my back!
Clients would come, then go after their sessions. With each client, I was that much closer to the end of my work day. I know it might sound crazy, but despite my being sick, I loved my job. I loved hearing my clients talk about their families, children, grandchildren, childhood memories, personal history and news in their lives. My clients didn’t know I was sick, or if they did they weren’t saying anything… nor was I. I didn’t want them to know(but I’ll get into that later).
My diet was(is) all organic whole foods. A typical day for me included a variety of; Bone Broth, Chicken Veggie Soup, Steamed dark leafy greens(Kale, Collards, Spinach, Chard, and Mustard Greens), Steamed Vegetables (Carrots, Cauliflower, Broccoli, Snow Peas, Brussel Sprouts and Green Beans), Boiled Chicken or Turkey, Avocado, and maybe some dried fruit(Raisins, Blueberries, Cranberries, and Mulberries). All these foods were providing me with vital nutrients I needed, but was absorbing very little of still. But, what I was absorbing was helping me function. All day, everyday, I was in pain. I was ready to go home to be with my Papa, God, IF it was my time. Thanks to the food, Mom and my family’s continued love and support, the bone broth, and the few supplements I was taking, and by the pure grace of God, I was alive.
I was still very depressed at this time. I was frustrated that I wasn’t feeling better as fast as I thought I should be. And, I was struggling to make it through each day, no matter what the day consisted of. At this point I was pretty low, and not enjoyable to be around. It was hard on me, and hard on my family members. The pain I was enduring almost felt as if it was taking the life out of me. I had yet to come to peace in FULLNESS with accepting that this was happening for a reason. Yes. I knew it was happening for a reason, but I didn’t believe it in fullness. I was still putting MY expectations of what I wanted for results in my own time frame, not my Papa God’s. I had a LOT to learn.
God was using this illness to grow and change me for the better, IF I was willing to listen, abide, and learn from it. Your Life, Your Choice. What choices would I make? I had a lot to learn, and it was going to get worse before it was going to get better, if that even seems possible.