*Continuance of “My Story” starting with Blog #1: When your life flashes before your eyes in a flood gate of memories…
Picking up from the blog (Gifts of Pain). Pain can happen in four aspects(physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually). This being said, pain is stored in our bodies; our muscles, hearts, and beings whether we are aware of it or not. Let me share an example.
It was nearly 2 years ago when I had a craniosacral appointment with two therapists, Diane and Gina. During this particular appointment, the 2 therapists found trauma deeply stuck within my body, in muscles and in my being, all unbeknownst to me. Different areas of my body were indicating to them that there was stored trauma. They asked what traumatic things had happened to me in my years. I shared the time I went down fast and hard while alpine ski racing, and another similar incident. Besides those, I was pretty “clueless”. As they worked, they asked specific questions about my history and I answered as best I could. And then they asked about my heritage.
My heritage? I thought, I wonder what they want to know? They asked what nationality I am. I answered, “Jewish and German.” One therapist nodded her head up and down and said, “That’s it. That’s what this is deeply embedded in your being, your body and muscles. You have ancestral trauma stuck inside of you.” As I lay on the table, my mind was blown wide open. What? I thought. (A trauma of wars involving hatred/antisemitism, evils being done, and unforgiveness).
“What do you know about the Jewish bloodline in you?” The therapist inquired. I answered the best I could. But honestly, I didn’t know much about the history there other than my Dad had found out about his being Jewish at about 27 years old. Prior to that, my dad hadn’t known. It was a secret that was finally brought into light(the open). Nothing else had ever been said.
With the help of the two therapists, through prayer and our combined efforts, we were able to pull ancestral trauma that was stuck in me stemming from BOTH nationalities. The Jews experienced rejection, betrayal, and terrible acts against humanity. The bloodline carried thousands of years of wars, tribulations and continuous persecution. My mind was ALMOST blown away. How were they able to find this inside of ME? I mean, it wasn’t written in plain writing to see.
God brings people into our lives for reason(s). Thankfully, these two therapists were able to take all of this ugly history and extract it out with our combined efforts. And I can say as I got off the table that day, is that something in me was lighter… I’d been set free at a whole new level.
The picture below actually depicts what I was told was going on in my body, my muscles. The chains were being taken away, setting myself free at a whole new level.
This example of chains is a depiction of a history of ancestral pain/trauma that continues through the generations. It hadn’t been addressed in past generations, but it had with me, and the ties/roots had been cut with the work done in our craniosacral therapy session. That didn’t mean there still wasn’t other “stuff” that stemmed from it. It may have just came in yet another form… I myself didn’t find out that I was both Jewish and German until I was 11-12 years old. My grandmother who is Jewish, at that same time there was no possible way to communicate with her about the subject. I’m not going to go into detail about that relationship because this truly isn’t the time or the place.
This small framed, olive skinned, brown eyed girl, me… with natural red highlights in her curly brown hair, are actually all Jewish features. Ha, I even got the nickname (with NO disrespect or pun intended, as I do NOT like racial jokes) “The little Jew”. It was a nickname that I loved and embraced because the meaning behind it wasn’t just my lineage, it was because I was a tight with money. I acted like a supposed Jewish person (in a LOT of ways), and of course I do look like one. The nickname really does fit me.
Through the years, I’ve wondered about our family history. I utilized google searches and ancestral resources to find out what I can. With all my efforts I hadn’t came up with much. I finally came to the point where I had to accept the reality that I may never know more about my/our history. I needed to face into this reality.
Now, in the year 2019, not yet in my health journey story, while working with Dr. Jack to tweak some VERY minor maintenance type things and get me on a more specific maintenance supplement plan, he suggested I have an ancestry test done. In doing so, we could utilize the raw data to know what supplements are ones that my body is more apt to be in need of. So, I agreed. Cool! I’ve always been intrigued with these tests but had never done one! I thought. The test arrived and I spit in provided tube, boxed up my bottled saliva, and whoosh, out in the mail it went.
What I didn’t realize in fullness at the time of doing this recent test was that I might get REAL answers to my ancestor’s origins/history. After nearly 3 weeks the results landed in my email inbox. I opened the mail while on vacation in Key West, FL and was speechless. My history. My origins. Insights into our heritage. All of this was in front of me. Tears pooled in my eyes as my heart raced with excitement.
Long story short, I learned a lot from those results. Did those results tell me everything I wanted to know? Of course not, but I got the broad picture and was able to connect some dots, make sense of things, and better understand my heritage. Also, some aspects of myself that stemmed from my heritage were confirmed. I was seeing my GENETIC lineage! I believe it’s good to know our history and our health history. All those genetics that go through the generation actually DO hold valuable information. In my opinion that doesn’t mean we are going to have those same genetic issues or that those genetics define us, so that we can’t reverse them… because we CAN reverse some our genetic dysfunctions! It IS possible!
Pain isn’t always visible physically or understandable in our self-knowledge, like the pain carried in my body from history wasn’t visible or even noticeable to me. It was inside of me as the two therapists Diane and Gina found it, unbeknownst to me. Despite knowing of my heritage/lineage, I had questions that I would have liked answers to but grew up to a level where I accepted the reality of the situation of not knowing my history at all. Was that the reason this “miracle” happened, why I got to learn some of my genetic history just recently? I don’t know. I don’t have the answers and I don’t need to. All I know is that this all came to happen and be, when the timing is right. As I say, “In Papa God’s perfect timing.”
We aren’t aware of historical pain or trauma, or other stuff that we have inside of us, whether it be in our muscles, hearts, minds, gut, or being. Pain/trauma/etc. is unique to each human being, and needs to be addressed in its own unique way(s). At the surface level, and those deep levels that we may not even be aware of, not exposed until the timing is right, and they come to the surface… layers of the onion being peeled away. And that is what I’ve learned through layer after layer being peeled away in my healing journey. Which, ultimately, has led me to truly believe after so many years that the journey IS truly the reward. So, enjoying the process and embracing it as best we can is important to our daily lives and the healing process.