Suspense!

*Continuance of “My Story” starting with Blog #1: When your life flashes before your eyes in a flood gate of memories…

It’d been a week since I’d sent in my test results and the suspense was starting to get at me, making me a tad bit anxious.  Normally, suspense didn’t affect me.  But this time it was different.  “I sure hope the results come in this week.” I’d said to Mom one day.

Days later, on September 16th I got my test results via email.  I’d just finished with my last client and saw the email notice on my phone screen saying, “Enclosed are a copy of your CSA test results.’

“MOM!” I exclaimed happily while trying to be quiet, as my client was still in the nearby therapy room.

“You got your test results!?” She’d assumed wisely.

“YES” I replied, giddy with excitement.

“Don’t read them yet!  Let’s look at them together.” Mom had suggested.

“Okay!”  I’d agreed.  “I’m going to print them though.”  I assisted my client with her payment and shortly after she walked out the office door I said, “Are you ready, Mom?” 

“Yes.” She’d replied.  We stood in the office looking over the results.  

“It looks like I still have some bacteria that aren’t right in my gut.  But overall the results have drastically improved regarding the test result numbers compared to last years’ test.” I stated.  “My Pancreas numbers are good!  They’re NORMAL!” I stated happily, at ease.

“Your Pancreas results were the first and only results that I saw!” Mom said and then laughed, smiling big.  Mom’s relief was evident on her face.

“Mom, I’m so glad that you were here to go over the results with me.”

“Me too, Kelly.  Me too.” She’d replied with happy tears filling her eyes.  We shared a long, warm hug and I swallowed the lump that’d formed in my throat.  Then tears spilled freely, at ease.  “You’re my living miracle, Kelly.”

I AM truly my Mom’s miracle baby.  I’m in no way, shape, or form bragging, but actually quite the opposite, I’m humbled; to know that I brushed death’s door, enduring a living hellish nightmare and came out the other side of it alive.  I’m truly humbled and blessed beyond anything words can describe to express it.

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I got home from work that night and sat down for supper with my parents and brother. As we talked and ate, I mostly listened to their conversation.  It felt good just to sit and listen to them talking, catching up with one another’s week.  “Are you going to tell them your test results, Kelly?” Mom inquired.

“I got my Stool Analysis test results back today.  The results detected how my Pancreas is working along with many other vital insights.” Dad looked at me waiting to hear what I’d say next.  The words bubbled out of me, “The results showed that my Pancreas is back to functioning as it should!  There are still some bacteria that aren’t balanced as optimally as they should be.  This means my gut microbiome (gut flora) isn’t as balanced as it should be.  But with the right supplements and with Dr. J’s help, they should be balanced in due time.  Healing takes time and doesn’t happen overnight,” I’d commented wisely.  

“The other concern is that my Immune System is very upregulated; hyperactive.  These numbers are higher than they’ve ever been.  My Immune System is still attacking AND reacting to everything it comes into contact with… which is everything.  It’s reacting this way because it’s trying to understand the difference between good and bad.  It makes perfect sense though, given what my body has been going through.  Why WOULDN’T it react to anything given my Immune System still views the cells, bacteria and food as the enemy?  With time, my Immune System will start to depict the difference to operate more accurately, eventually calming down.  It’s going to take some time though.” I stated, knowingly.  “I haven’t talked with Dr. Jack about the results yet.  I will in our next phone consult at the end of the month.  Then, I’ll hear what insights he has for balancing what’s left to balance.” I told my family.

“Kelly, this is great news!  The Pancreas was the main focus though, right?” Dad asked.  It was nice to see the joy and happiness in my Dad’s eyes.  It was similar to Mom’s when she read the test results.  Their deep love and concern for me was always evident throughout this entire journey.  To see the relief in their eyes and whole beings was a pure blessing, along with my brother’s.

“Yes.  That was the main reason for the test; seeing how my Pancreas was working and what has been happening in my gut.  Also, checking to see that other organs are back working together as they were designed to work.  This is HUGE!” I stated.  “This test holds a lot of other very helpful information for Dr. Jack that will be important for continued healing, and direction in the next step of this healing journey.”

“That’s great, Kelly!” Dad voiced again, “I’m happy for you.  You’ve really been a trooper!”

“Thank you.” I smiled.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better.” Troy said.  And he was truly thankful.

“You’ve still been able to have bowel movements on your own?” Dad inquired.

“Yes, I’m going on my own.” I smiled again.

“You say that as if it’s ‘normal’.” Mom said to me, chuckling.

“Ha!  That’s funny!  Yes, I’m going on my own.  I’ve not done ANY enemas to induce a bowel movement!  Getting the last of the tumor/biofilms out was key.  It was then that I could go on my own; my body started working as it was designed to.  Pretty amazing.”  I finished and then swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat.  “Thank you, Papa. I’m so overcome with utter thankfulness.  I trust you Papa, for whatever you have in store for me.  This hasn’t been easy, but you have paved the way for me and I can never say ‘thank you’ enough.  I love you.  Please continue to heal me, using me for your glory and honor,” I prayed inwardly.

My parents and brother were talking among themselves while I was engaged in my own thoughts, overcome with a vast array of emotions concerning the last six years.  All the memories of the endless days and nights of pain, being unable to laugh or cry because it made the physical abdomen and back pain that much worse.  The diligence, in giving up things I loved to do and used to love to eat, trusting that my Papa was in control; making good of whatever was to happen.  My loved ones and other well-meaning people that came alongside of me and our family to help.  Mom choosing to do GTin5 with me.  My pets and the roles they played in my healing.  All the amazing healers that helped in so many ways.  “Papa,” I prayed again with tears in my eyes, “I’m left utterly speechless with the beauty that you have made of this entire process in these last six years.  Despite everything, it has truly been REWARDING!  I wouldn’t trade ANY of this for anything. Thank you for giving me a second chance at life.  Lead me, direct me, and guide me.” I prayed, swallowing and blinking back tears that threatened to spill over.  All seemed well.  My heart was at peace.

The next day I saw Laurie for my monthly massage in the city.  She enveloped me in a hug upon hearing my test results.

After the appointment Laurie shared, “Your body seems really strong.  It has surprised me throughout this whole process how strong it is, but today it is stronger and ‘different’.”

I smiled.  My body was stronger.  And.  It was different!  I was different.

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