We LOVE sharing pieces of our book with you! During Kelly’s healing journey she realized that healing holistically was going to take longer. Daily physical and emotional challenges were draining. Here’s an example, from chapter 18 of “Your Life Your Choice Let the Healing Begin A JOURNEY OF DIS-EASE TO EASE Healing Holistically of Pancreatic Cancer”.
One More Month
Reversing my health and healing “naturally” was going to be a longer process than I was aware of. It’s not like taking a pill for pain relief and 15 minutes later the effects of the drug are noticeable. I didn’t fully adapt to that mindset of taking “longer” until after a particularly challenging month.
It was the fall of 2013 that in a moment of frustration I allowed it to grow into verbal anger, directly after an appointment with Dr. Ann. It had been my third month working with the good doctor. I told Mom in the car when I plopped down in the car seat, afterward, and shutting the door harder than need be, “I’m done!”
Silence sat amongst us. When I finally turned to look at her, Mom was looking at me with tear-filled eyes. My angry, hot tears soon poured down my cheeks. I angrily wiped at the tears repeating, “I’m done, Mom. I’ve done everything Dr. Ann has recommended. I’ve taken her supplements, followed all her strict diet suggestions, everything. My left-side abdominal pain is the worst it’s been. Now, my left side in the back hurts constantly too. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired!”
Mom watched me quietly as we sat in the car. I tried to control my tears. Then she reminded me, “You’ve had many good days, Kelly. And on your good days, you tell me that you do feel well. You don’t feel bad all the time,” she said, pausing. Then she asked me, “What will you do, then, if you quit with Dr. Ann? Do you want to go back to the medical doctors?”
“NO!” I angrily replied. “I don’t want to go to the (Western) medical route. They will just want to give me medications, which will make my stomach problems worse. Then they’ll do a bunch of tests and they’ll all come back normal AGAIN. I’m NOT going to go the medical route.” Built-up frustration turned to anger was pouring out of me.
“What do you want to do then, Kelly? What other options do you have? Do you REALLY want to quit everything you’re doing?” Mom asked, quietly.
“I don’t know!” I hostilely replied. I knew deep in my heart that I wasn’t going to quit. I was just mad–frustrated.
After a few minutes of utter silence, Mom turned to me, patiently asking me, “Please Kelly, give Dr. Ann just one more month. Please?”
My eyes, swollen and bloodshot from crying hard, momentarily glanced at her looking back at me. With a heavy heart I agreed, “Okay. Just ‘one more month’.”
“Okay,” Mom whispered, watching me sadly. She held out her arms over the center console between us and I fell into them sobbing again. I was a hot mess and mentally exhausted from the wars of decision-making battling in my head. I was also dealing with depression that would grow worse during the next years to come. The battles in my mind were real.
During the agreed to “one more month” I took a wonderful turn for the better with my left-side pain and night sweats, I started digesting food a little better, and I had more energy. Then Mom was crying… crying happy tears while saying, “‘One more month’, huh?”
Looking back, it wasn’t until over a year later that we BOTH could laugh, together, over the mention of the phrase “one more month”. It took that long for me to see some beauty come from the ashes of that afternoon in her car, letting my frustrations get the best of me. But you know what? The timing was perfect, because I would not only need to understand the concept of giving the all-natural healing route TIME to work its benefits then, but live the concept out in the next three years to come during the worst of worst times.
To those of you that don’t know Mom or me personally, or even if you do, many people think that Mom and I have always been close in our relationship. Not so. We haven’t always been close. Truth is, growing up I butted heads with her a lot of the time, almost on a daily basis. I was strong-willed and determined. And so was she, so that was difficult for both of us to deal with the other. Mom and I were actually a lot alike. THAT was the problem.
Dad would often come home from his workday to find Mom and me not speaking and mad at the other. He was, more often than not, the mediator for our disagreements. As I got older, the arguments got more heated because, well, I had more of an attitude. By that time, I also knew how to push her buttons, that honestly, I shouldn’t had been pushing. Mom had been much more patient with me as a young teenager, which only made me angrier and more defiant in our disagreements. She had changed for the better, but I hadn’t.
When I was about 15 years old, we both got to the point where we were tired of our still happening disagreements and arguing. We hit our “rock bottom”, so-to-speak. It was time for BOTH of us to change. We talked and agreed that we BOTH needed to work at being more patient, being forgiving, slower to speak, thinking before we speak, to not do the notorious “tit-for-tat”, to be more open and honest with each other, and work on our communication skills. Truthfully, it was one of the best things that ever happened for our relationship. And, it needed to happen if we EACH wanted to better our relationship.
In those years of realigning our attitudes, we both had our moments of being tempted to our old tactics, but we overcame, and still do today, together. In my late teen years, 18-19 years old, becoming ill actually helped to continue strengthening our relationship. What I’m trying to say is, we didn’t just by chance have a good mother-daughter relationship. We had to both willingly work at it, humbling ourselves to serving the other with kindness, goodness, patience, gentleness, self-control, etc., and through these fruits our relationship grew to be so much more.
Today, our relationship is deeper than it has ever been. We have a mother-daughter relationship that to me is deeply profound. We are the best of friends and have many things in common. We often get told from people, “you two have such a beautiful relationship.” Yes, we do. But the thing is, it didn’t just happen overnight, or in a month (laugh out loud!). It took and still takes work, and patience, on both our parts. We still have disagreements, but we are able to talk through them reasonably and respectfully. We both talk openly, sharing our thoughts, our hearts, and our perspectives, all so that we can better understand where the other is coming from. We are to the point in our relationship where we both can freely ask for forgiveness when in error, admitting when we are wrong. Mom was right in asking me to hold on for “one more month” to see some positive results in my health…
-End of chapter reveal
We hope you enjoyed this chapter reveal from, “Your Life Your Choice Let the Healing Begin A JOURNEY OF DIS-EASE TO EASE Healing Holistically of Pancreatic Cancer”.
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